SCENE 2: The same. It is evening---a few nights following Scene 1.
AT RISE: Low sunlight comes in from window stage D. C. Other windows closed.
DIGGER is offstage in washroom. TOMMY is letting down DIGGER'S net and his own-and tucking his in. He is still in whites.
BLOSSOM, in blues, is putting down his net and KIWI'S and tucking them in and lighting the three lamps stage R. [Electrician lights blue lamp C. and YANK'S, TOMMY'S and DIGGER'S lamps during change.]
YANK, in whites, has his towel around his neck and toothbrush in pocket. He is letting down his net and tucking it in---working from L. of bed to R. KIWI, in blues, is sitting D. L. on his bed, and LACHIE, in blues, is standing over him, lecturing, KIWI has his whites and toothbrush in his hand.
LACHIE. And ye may remember, KIWI, whin a humble member of the House asked Parliament fur thruppence tae be added tae the auld-age pension. And wot happens? (KIWI starts to rise, but LACHIE pushes him back.) Ye would hae thought the Governmint was being asked tae throw away the Crown jewels. (Again KIWI starts to rise, but LACHIE pushes him back.) Thruppence, mind ye. Their Lordships leaps tae their feet---(He illustrates this with his hands---at which time KIWI takes advantage of the opportunity to rise.)---like Jack-in-the-boxes.
KIWI. That's very interesting, Lachie, but let's finish it tomorrow. (He backs away-patting LACHIE on shoulder, LACHIE follows him.)
LACHIE. "Bankrupt the Empire," they shouts. (KIWI backs toward washroom, with LACHIE in pursuit.) "Whir will the money come frae?" yells another.
KIWI. (Desperately indicating YANK.) Why don't you tell Yank---he knows more about politics than I do? (LACHIE turns toward YANK and KIWI ducks into washroom.)
LACHIE. (Crosses and descends on YANK.) Thruppence, mind ye. Tae help the purr. "Ye canna git blood frae a turnip," warns the Prime Minister. (By flow BLOSSOM is working on KIWI's net.)
YANK. (Affectionately.) Look---Buster---you've been talking steadily for a week. Why don't you play your bagpipe? (Hand On LACHIE's shoulder, with a pat. YANK goes back to tucking net.)
LACHIE. But I notice they can raise money quick enough whin there's blood tae be got frae a mon. Or a war tae fight.
YANK. (Crosses LACHIE toward washroom.) Why don't you have Parliament adjourn while I brush my teeth?
LACHIE. (Following, so that YANK has to turn around.) "We are sorry fur the purr," says Parliament. " Boot the Governmint is purr." Weel, dew ye happen tae ken wot his Majesty's Governmint is spending daily tae persecute the war? (TOMMY has just crossed down from getting his towel and toothbrush in his bed table.)
TOMMY. It must be a fearful amount. (LACHIE turns to answer Tommy and YANK goes into washroom with his towel.)
LACHIE. Over a million pounds. A million pounds. (He glances back and sees YANK gone. He crosses to attack TOMMY with his logic. BLOSSOM is U. L. of KIWI'S bed.) And . . . Who are these magicians that gits money whir none was? (He points an indisputable finger at TOMMY.) The eky-nomists.
TOMMY. The who?
LACHIE. The eky-nomists.
TOMMY. Are they on our side?
LACHIE. (Nods.) And whir dew they git the money? They up and prints it!
TOMMY. (Crossing LACHIE and starting toward washroom.) Then why don't they print more and increase me pay?
LACHIE. (Following him.) The more they prints---the less it's worth-that's why I advise ye-----follow ma' example and poot yur money in the land. Ye canna print land.
TOMMY. I'll put mine into my stomach. Beer! (he giggles and ducks into washroom, leaving LACHIE stranded. LACHIE turns back toward his bed, and sees BLOSSOM stepping downstage from fixing KIWI'S bed. LACHIE continues to BLOSSOM, who listens with a confused expression.)
LACHIE. Dew ye realize wot it costs tae train each soldier poot intae the field? Ten thousand pounds apiece! Now, if ye gae each mon of both sides just half of that---ye'd stop the war in two minutes and cut yur national debt in half!
BLOSSOM. Blos-som! (Crosses R. of LACHIE. MARGARET enters from U. C. and stands watching. LACHIE turns to buttonhole BLOSSOM again.)
LACHIE. It's a puir example the Governmint sets fur the individual.
MARGARET. And just what do you think you're doing?
LACHIE. I was giving ma' friends the benefit of ma' experience.
(He crosses to his bed and sits on foot of it, R. BLOSSOM exits to washroom, carrying his whites.)
MARGARET. Well, save a little something to talk about tomorrow. Lights- out in ten minutes. (She lets down his net. She notices how weary LACHIE looks, crosses D.) How have you felt today, Lachie?
LACHIE. It's odd ye shuid ask that.
MARGARET. No---it's one of my duties.
LACHIE. I thought perhaps ye'd read ma' mind. Fur I've a wee weariness. Ma' hands sweat a bit and ma' feet seem swollen.
MARGARET. You've been walking around the ward too much. And talking too much.
LACHIE. A mon moost walk a bit and talk a bit. He's nae a vegetable.
MARGARET. But when you tire yourself you don't sleep well. Last night when I came in you were tossing and whimpering in your sleep.
LACHIE. I dinna whimper.
MARGARET. Well--you weren't sleeping soundly.
LACHIE. I'd a problem---and ma' brain gae me no peace.
MARGARET. Are you worried about anything, Lachie?
LACHIE. Aye.
MARGARET. May I help?
LACHIE. (Not looking at her.) Weel, it's nae easy fur a mon of ma' strong character tae admit he might have blundered. I'm nae wot ye think I am, Sister.
MARGARET. (Tenderly.) Are you sure you know what I think?
LACHIE. Ye probably think me wise and shrewd. Ye probably think I've the proper value on all ma' problems. Ye probably think there's naught confuses me.
MARGARET. Is that what I think?
LACHIE. (He looks up at her.) Aye. Ye see, Sister, I've nae always liked the human race I'd nae love or respect fur any mon. I'd nae faith in the guidness of people. And whin the war came, it did nae help.
MARGARET. But you told me you had many friends in Scotland.
LACHIE. I lied. How cuid I? I'd nae education. Being purr as a church mouse, I'd nae money tae squander. I'd naught tae interest or offer. A mon canna take wi' out gaen, too.
MARGARET. Why not?
LACHIE. A mon's pride.
MARGARET. But humility's a virtue, too.
LACHIE. (Turning away from her.) Boot nae a strong one. In ma' life befur, nae one ever liked me, and there was nae one I liked. Boot I've changed.
MARGARET. I'd hate to think it took a war to change you, Lachie.
LACHIE. Aye---boot it's true. (Off-stage we hear TOMMY giggle and DIGGER say, "Aw, dry UP."' LACHIE rises and looks toward washroom.) I did nae ken a mon cuid be yur friend and want nothing frae ye. And now I've twenty-one years tae make up fur. (He crosses L., speaking with feverish nervousness.) I've got tae dew ma' share of the helping.
MARGARET. (Follows him.) Lachie---if you've found a new set of values---don't feel that you must rush out and pay for them.
LACHIE. But it's like repentance, Sister. Ye've no idea how it grows inside me. I've a terrible need tae help.
MARGARET. Well, you've ample time. When the lights are out, I'm going to bring you back something warm to drink. 1t'l put you to sleep.
LACHIE. If it's nae trouble tae ye.
MARGARET. No trouble at all. I'll have Yank give you your massage. (She crosses to washroom and calls.) Yank---I may be a few minutes late. Will you give Lachie his rub?
YANK. (Off-stage, muffled.) Sure.
MARGARET. And don't forget to close the window. (Crossing to exit D. L.) Better get out of your blues and go to bed, Lachie. I don't want you lying awake all night plotting to change the world. (She goes out. LACHIE crosses to R. of his own bed and gets out of his blues. In a moment Tommy enters.)
TOMMY. (Crossing.) Oh, I do 'ope I don't 'ave me terrible dreams again. Last night I thought me stomach was so big I 'ad to carry it in front of me in a wheelbarrow.
LACHIE. (Leaves blues at head of bed and crosses to TOMMY.) Cuid I hae a moment of yur time, Tommy?
TOMMY. Why not? We've no place to go but bed.
LACHIE. Whin ye go back after the war---hae ye a job waiting?
TOMMY. Me job is me old lady. 'Er father owns a pub.
LACHIE. Ah, it's nae guid tae work fur relations. As ye ken, I've a bit of land in Scotland and it occurred tae me that ye might like a place tae visit and rest a bit. There'd always be tobacco tae smoke and bread tae eat and a guid chair of your own tae sit and talk in.
TOMMY. Thank you for the offer, Lachie, but if I ever get away from me old lady---it will have to be farther than Scotland. (Crosses U. L. of bed-blows out light. Note: The lanterns are supposed to be kerosene, but are actually electric- battery. The actors pretend to blow them out, as they turn the switch.)
LACHIE. (Crosses L. of TOMMY's bed.) Ye'd like Doon Foot.
TOMMY. I talk about her unkind-like but in me way I love my wife---the silly old wash-tub. (Starts getting into bed.)
LACHIE. It was nae a hasty offer. I gae it thought fur yur own guid.
TOMMY. And most kind of you, but I'm going back to Blighty. (He crawls under his net, YANK enters. Closes D. R. window.) And if you ever visit London, me wife's 'ome is yours. Good night.
LACHIE. Guid nicht. (YANK crosses to LACHIE's bed table, gets alcohol bottle and lantern.)
YANK. D-did you think I'd forgotten you?
LACHIE. No. (LACHIE crosses to own bed, gets pillow---lies on his stomach---faces D. S.)
YANK. Well, stretch out, Buster.
LACHIE. (Lifts his pajama top and lies on his stomach at foot of bed.) I dinna ken why I shuid be sae weary.
YANK. Relax. (Brings lamp D. S., puts it and alcohol bottle on floor. Baby-spot in foots is dimmed up. YANK pours alcohol into his hand.)
LACHIE, Yank.
YANK. Yeah? (Starts to rub.)
LACHIE. As ye know, I've a wee house in Scotland. I was thinking that whin the war is done---if ye've nae place tae go tae but America---ye cuid come and live in ma hoose as long as ye wanted.
YANK. Thanks, Buster, but when that time comes, I'm headed straight home.
LACHIE. But hae ye an occupation tae return tae?
YANK. You could call it that. There's ma' gal waiting for me.
LACHIE. Are ye very mooch in love?
YANK. Whatever it is, I've got it. In glorious, multiplane technicolor.
LACHIE. (Pauses.) Whin dew ye leave the hospital, Yank?
YANK. Old Cobwebs signs my papers tomorrow. I leave the day after. (YANK stoops down to get more alcohol.)
LACHIE. Day after tomorrow. It'll nae be the same wi' ye gone. (They look at each other.) Most likely I'll never hear of ye agaen.
YANK. When I get married, I'll send you a tinted picture of Niagara Falls.
LACHIE. And I'll send ye a photo of ma' hoose in Scotland.
YANK. (Rising and rubbing.) Send me a picture of yourself in that damned kilt. Looks like it's the only way I'll ever see it.
LACHIE. Ye're sure tomorrow will be yur last day wi' us?
YANK. Unless old Cobwebs changes his mind.
LACHIE. I was planning on wearing ma' kilt the day I went back tae ma' regiment. But if ye liked . . .
YANK. (He stops rubbing.) Buster---you don't mean you might change your mind?
LACHIE. I was thinking---if ye poot a value on it---I cuid wear ma' kilt in yur honor instead.
YANK. Look-Lachie---wear it for me tomorrow and I'll take your picture. I just got two new rolls of film from h-home.
LACHIE. (Looking up at him, with excitement.) Dew ye ken---I've never had ma' photo took?
YANK. Then we'll take it tomorrow.
LACHIE. Aye---(Resuming position.)---I'll wear ma' kilt. But ye'll hae tae let me pay fur the film.
YANK. (Picks up bottle and puts it on bed table. Gets towel.) No need to do that---I've the extra roll. (He dries LACHIE's back.)
LACHIE. I'll nae hae ma' photo took unless ye sell me both yur rolls of film. I may need both, fur I'd like photos of each mon ma'self.
YANK. If it makes you feel any freer---I'll let you pay for them. (He puts towel back.)
LACHIE. I'll gie ye the money in the morning.
YANK. (Drops down.) I t-t-trust you. (Crosses L. c.---turns back.) Turn your light out?
LACHIE. I think I'll hoe a cigarette first. (YANK offers him cigarette.) I've ma' own.
YANK. None of that.
LACHIE. Aye. (He takes one. DIGGER and KIWI, both in whites, enter from washroom and cross to their own beds.) Thank ye.
YANK. (Crossing L. of his own bed.) Well, I'm going to hit the sack. I'm dead tonight. (Turns his light out.)
DIGGER (Pointing at TOMMY'S bed.) If Tommy snores tonight, I'll cut his bloody ears off.
YANK. (Crawls under net.) A few more days of convalescing and I'd be ready to collapse. Good night, Lachie.
LACHIE. Guid nicht, Booster. (LACHIE crosses to DIGGER who is tucking in his net.) Digger, whin we've peace agen, dew ye ken wot ye'll dew?
DIGGER. I'm going to collect my kid and my darting and carry them back to Australia. (Crosses U. R. of bed, tucking in net.)
LACHIE. (Crossing L. of bed.) I'm sure it's a guid country---but have ye a job there?
DIGGER. My back'll be as good as ever. (Crosses.)
LACHIE. Hae ye ever thought of looking fur work in Scotland?
DIGGER. (Straightening up.) Gawd---no. Has anyone?
LACHIE. I've some land, as ye no doot recall---wi' a wee hoose on it. Ye're most welcome tae it, fur yur family---nae charge. I've guid soil and ye cuid make a living---nae rent.
DIGGER. When I turn in my pay-book, I'm headed in one direction only---Australia. (He closes his eyes.) Gawd---Australia! When I think of it, I get a toothache in my heart.
LACHIE. There's nae bonnier land than Scotland.
DIGGER. (Crosses L. of bed.) I'll visit ya some day when I'm rich.
LACHIE. (Crosses R.) Aye-if ye're rich ye'll need nae help. I'll nae see ye agaen.
DIGGER. You can't tell. Anyhow, I'll never be rich. But ya can bet I'll never be poor. (Turns out his light. KIWI, who has been reading, rises and fixes his net.) I'll send ya a postal picture from down under. And a letter. (gets into bed.)
LACHIE. (Crossing L.) Ye'll write me a letter?
DIGGER. I'll write ya a letter, too.
LACHIE. (Turns to face room. He considers this new experience.) A letter in ma' own name. Lachlen McLachlen. (Pause.) Esquire.
DIGGER. (From under net.) Gawd---I love sleep. Good night, Lachie. (He tucks net under from inside.)
LACHIE. Guid nicht. (He stands silent for a moment. KIWI is at foot of his bed, tucking his net.)
KIWI. It's a wonder I haven't got malaria. Once I'm asleep my feet stick out all night, and the mosquitoes think it's a blood bank.
LACHIE. (Crossing to him.) Cuid ye nae sleep wi' yur sox on?
KIWI. Those mosquitoes would just gang up and pull 'em off. (He starts to get under his net.)
LACHIE. (Crosses U. R. of KIWI'S bed.) I suppose whir ye come frae there are ferocious mosquitoes.
KIWI. New Zealand mosquitoes can have all my blood they want. Once I get back, nothing's ever going to get me away again!
LACHIE. (Sighs.) Ye really moost gae home?
KIWI. Yes, but I'll write to you. I'll keep in touch with you. (Tucks in his net.) I'm turning in. Will you put my light out? (LACHIE puts out his cigarette and turns out light.) Thanks. Good night.
(BLOSSOM enters in whites and goes R. to his bed.)
LACHIE. Guid nicht. (He starts around BLOSSOM's bed. BLOSSOM sees him.)
BLOSSOM. Blos-som! (LACHIE turns away.)
LACHIE. Naw---they'd nae understand ye in Scotland. (BLOSSOM turns his light out and goes to bed. LACHIE crosses to KIWI'S bed and gives it a tuck. Then to YANK's and tucks the net in a bit. Then crosses U. R. of his own bed and starts to fix his net. MARGARET enters D. L. and crosses to him. She carries metal cup and an electric flashlight.)
MARGARET. Sorry I took so long, but I had to find the key to the storeroom.
LACHIE. I was talking tae ma' friends.
MARGARET. Drink this. It will help you to sleep. (She hands him cup.)
LACHIE. Thank ye. (He sits-but doesn't drink.) They're going tae write me letters frae all over the world. They said sae. (He looks up at her.) Dew ye ken wot that does tae me, Sister?
MARGARET. It should make you very proud.
LACHIE. Aye-moor than that. No matter where I go agaen in ma life---I'm nae alone.
MARGARET. Yes---I know how dreadful loneliness can be, Lachie.
LACHIE. Ah---but there's naught I can dew. Fur the first time in ma' life---I want tae help. And I dinna know how.
MARGARET. I thought I told you to stop worrying.
LACHIE. But I've got tae dew something, Sister. It's a great torment tae me. I owe sae much.
MARGARET. All right, Lachie. To whom do you think you owe something? To your fellowman?
LACHIE. Aye-if it's the guidness in ma fellowman I've wronged ---weel---I cuid turn ma' farm intae a place tae go fur wounded lads wi' nae home of their awn.
MARGARET. Slowly, Lachlen. Remember, "Sorrow's born in the Hasty Heart."
LACHIE. I'm nae hasty. I know ma' duty. I cuid nae be a preacher ---I know naught aboot God. And I'm nae so sure I owe ma' friends tae God. I did nae praying.
MARGARET. You simply can't stand being indebted, can you?
LACHIE. I can nae write a buuk. I've nae schooling. I've only ma' wish tae help-and ma' two hands---and ma' land tae gi' away.
MARGARET. Lachie---if you would only --- (She decides to make sure the others are asleep..) Wait a minute. (She uses flashlight on all other beds, then returns to him. Sits on foot of bed L. of LACHIE, who has been drinking from cup during the above business. MARGARET puts her flashlight on bed above LACHIE and leaves it there.) Lachie, instead of things that you own---why don't you share yourself with your fellowman? We'd be much richer. I know that I am-for the things you've shared with me already.
LACHIE. Ye can nae mean me, Sister?
MARGARET. But I do. As a human being, I don't suppose I have any real---oh---individuality. I'm the people I've met. I'm a mixture of everything I've read and seen. I've stolen a virtue here---and a weakness there. I'm everyone I ever loved.
LACHIE. And ye've taken something frae me?
MARGARET. Without your knowing it.
LACHIE. Do ye know something, Sister?---If I'd nae stopped ma' bit of shrapnel, I'd nae hae known I cuid be sae content wi' ma'self. I had tae be hurt tae learn.
MARGARET. No---I don't think you had to be hurt. But there was good in it.
LACHIE, (Ponders.) Dew ye suppose the world wuid be a healthier place if moor people were sick?
MARGARET. Gracious---I don't know. (She rises-crosses U. R. of bed with cup and puts it on bed table.) And now you must sleep.
LACHIE. I'll nae steep this nicht. Ah---where are the words tae free ma' he'rt?
MARGARET. (R. of LACHIE.) Have you been as happy with us, Lachie, as you've ever been in your life?
LACHIE. I think-I've shared a moment wi' kings.
MARGARET. Good night, Lachie. (She crosses L.)
LACHIE. (Stopping her.) Sister Margaret-dew ye ken ye've gaen me something too---wi'out yur knowing it?
MARGARET. (Turns back to him.) What, Lachie?
LACHIE. I'm nae sure wot it is. But it's something I n'er had befur ---something that makes me know when ye leave the room even whin I can nae see ye go.
MARGARET. That's very sweet. (She puts her hand on his L. shoulder.)
LACHIE. Ah---ye lovely, lovely angel. (He takes her hand and presses it to his lips. Then releases it.)
MARGARET. You shouldn't have done that.
LACHIE. Aye---I'd nae right. (MARGARET looks down at him a moment. Looking up at her, anxious and grateful, he seems very young. MARGARET cups his face in her hands and kisses him on mouth.)
MARGARET. No right at all. (She turns and leaves D. L.)
LACHIE rises and watches her go. Then crosses u. c. quickly to his bagpipe. Brings it down to foot of bed and sits. Starts to blow it up when he realizes the men are asleep. He looks R.---then L. in fear he has wakened them. Then he gently folds the bagpipe---rises---and tiptoes U.C. to put it back as...)